Bit of a fluff post here, first to make sure all'y'all knew I am still alive. Shells kids are in town (yay!) and we're also helping out some close friends of ours with a place to live. House is bursting at the seams with 8 people. YIKES! It really isn't as bad as you might think, our house guests (all of them) are really easy to live with, so that helps immensely.

Been on a new media binge...
New Console Goodness: SSX Tricky. I hate sports, but this game is hella fun. Probably helps that I was a (bad) skateboarder.
New Dead Tree Goodness:'Another Roadside Attraction'. Tracy hooked me up with it and so far I am liking it. Tom Robbins has an interesting writing style. It is a little hard to get into at times though, but it reminds me of the Illuminatus! trilogy.
New TV Series Goodness: Buffy. Okay okay okay. It's totally 2 years ago (or even 8 years ago). But it is good fun. I like the fact that it jumps from (semi) serious apocalyptic vampire slaying, to light n fluffy and goofy silliness. The only problem with getting into the game this late is finding out stuff from friends ho don't shut up.

First off, a brief hello to Richard from 'Down On My Knees' and Traci. You guys get mad props for making comments. Awwwooo. Also, a brief hello to whomever else is showing up. I seem to have gotten a recent influx of traffic.

Warning: This movie review is full of spoilers! I use the movie Audition to make some points about BDSM, the lines between fantasy and reality, and the moods of a BDSM scene. Now, if you have not seen Audition, don't worry, that is not a pre-requisite for reading this entry. In fact if totally gory Japanese flicks aren't your thing, it might be worth your while to skip watching it, and read the brief synopsis on the right.

Audition makes a statement (whether it means to or not) on the state of sexual politics in Japan, where women are very subservient to men. But it also is perhaps making a statement about expressions of sexuality. If you do keep an ear to the 'sick-internet-porn' ground, you no doubt have seen (or if you are lucky, only heard of) various 'porn' movies involving people barfing into bowls, eating it, and/or feeding it to others. The fact that this theme is repeated in Audition is probably no co-incidence. I am not into barf-play myself though.

There is some other fetish play parallels going on here as well. I'm going go briefly gloss over the amputation thing, because, like barf, it isn't my thing. There is also the play piercing angle. But like all things in this movie, it is done to the extreme. It is meant to disturb after all.

Probably one of the most disturbing parts of that movie was the torture scenes at the very end. Because on the one hand, being fed barf, having acupuncture needles stuck (straight) into you, and having your limbs sawn off is absolutely no fun. But to be tortured by someone who so obviously takes that much pride, joy and fun in their work is absolute heaven. As Richard commented in a Previous Post of Mine, a BDSM scene is more fun with laughter and imagination. (That being said, I don't event want to imagine that the bowl is full of barf, thank you very much.) The sing-song happiness in Asami's voice is unmistakable. Her movements and skill not only suggest a business like proficiency in what she is doing, but a joy as well. It's like a visit from your friendly neighbourhood dental hygienist and nymphomaniac sadist—all rolled up into one. That kind of skill, joy, and enjoying-of-the-skill is enough to take a submissive over the edge.

There are interesting lines being exposed here. In the BDSM community, its all about 'safe, sane and consensual.' A mantra that is repeated ad nauseum to give legitimacy to a sexuality that is for all its posturing, not entirely about 100% safety, sanity or consensuality, but is in fact about and is rooted in it's opposition. I am certainly not advocating non-consensual sex. But there are a lot of people who truly value the fact that they can't get out of the bondage they are in, and that they are stuck with whatever the top is going to dole out. For a lot of people that is part of the fantasy. A spanking is infinitely more exciting when you know you can't yelp out a traffic light colour to get out of it. Part of the joy of skydiving is that you could fall to your death (on the other side of the token, part of preparing for skydiving is doing things like properly packaging your chute). I suspect, that branding, breath play, edge play and other 'deep BDSM' experiences like that have a similar draw. It is because you are taken so close to the edge that the excitement is there. Which, brings up its own questions: After pushing the edges and boundaries for so long, how much further do you have to go? Is there an analogy here to extreeeeeem parachuters who start by jumping out of planes with a fully automatic chute, but end up base-jumping off of buildings for the ultimate rush?

That is what this movie does, It takes you—rapid-fire—to the boundary, the sweet spot. Then it shoots you over the cliff. Again, and again, and again. Simultaneously you are both utterly revolted, but yet strangely drawn to what is happening. It is a bad car accident happening inside of you. "Wow, that whole black rubber and leather get-up sure is hot! She is pulling out needles! Hardcore! Ahh! they're going in his eyelids! Too far! But the 'deeper, deeper' How disturbing! How wonderful! I'm so conflicted! Ahh! what is she doing with that Piano wire!" <Fall off cliff>

In short, it is a good movie because it is so disturbing, and because it plays with the lines. But it also takes you face to face with some very uncomfortable aspects of BDSM sexuality, and approaches it from the wrong (that is completely non-consensual, totally un-sane) angle.

Family Learning Channel meets Try-Hard-Terry-Gilliam meets Python Propaganda. Just who are they trying to reach anyway? (Thanks yome on #sheme)

We did have cable. For long even, about 2 years If I recall. My television watching would ebb and flow during the period of 2 years. Some weeks, it would be off and stay off. Some other weeks it would be the primary means of entertainment.

Of course, now with Harmony, everything is different. The less exposure to television she gets during these important developmental years, the better.

*snip* bye bye. Good riddance.

That being said, there is something about being able to sit back and consume information, turn down the brain a little bit. Reading is one of those things, but reading is still an active consumption, at least, it is for me. While reading, I am visualizing the situations, thinking about the things being said, sub-texts, etc.

Enter the SicP Lectures. My answer to passive consumption. And let me tell you, this is the kind of TV I could watch for HOURS. Now, what is SicP you might ask? It is a book (Free For Download!) that is actually entitled "The Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs", and is about as beefy as you might expect. The Lectures are a great companion to the book. Really, the only thing missing is a good instructor that can answer questions. And with the fine folks in #scheme, even that missing piece of the puzzle is there.

Here is an oft-quoted piece of SicP, to give you an idea of what you are getting into:

We are about to study the idea of a computational process. Computational processes are abstract beings that inhabit computers. As they evolve, processes manipulate other abstract things called data. The evolution of a process is directed by a pattern of rules called a program. People create programs to direct processes. In effect, we conjure the spirits of the computer with our spells.

MMMmmm
Meaty goodness.

A book called The Dice Man. This is not a biography on (ugh) Andrew Dice Clay. Instead this is a novel by Luke Reinhart, which has a simple premise, with far reaching effects: Make every decision by the roll of dice.

The book itself can be a little hard to read sometimes. Not hard use-too-many-big-words-hard... not hard slogging-through-the-council-of-elrond-hard... but requim-for-a-dream-watching-it-fall-apart-hard.

That being said, I am going to give dicelife a try. Not to the extent of a fictional character in a book written in the 70's, but for a few decisions, why not? (see the sidebar for an example).

My plan? On the way to and from work, make some more dice decision points, and build a dice roller in scheme. I wonder if I can get random background IR radiation from the IR port somehow..? At any rate, watch this space for the scheme source, (and a Palm resource File).

And yes... most die decisions will be trivial. I don't plan on letting a plastic cube, or a few lines of scheme determine major decisions in my life.

OK, ok, ok. Everyone who knows me, knows that sometimes I can start to put on the tinfoil hat, and rant like the rest of them.

But Jesus H. Fucking Christ... (or is that George Fucking W. Bush). Why does the National Reconnaissance Office need a Childrens Website?

I'll put Harmony in front of Boohbah the stragely Pill Shaped Ecstacy monsters over "Earth Watch" any freakin day of the week. Yikes.

Whoah. Boohbah From Ragdoll Productions. You might know Ragdoll from such wonderful shows as Rosie and Jim. No? Not familiar? How about Teletubbies. I knew you would get that reference. Druggy.Seriously, with it's crazy Hip Cool flash jukebox things, and a flash design reminiscent of a Child's Hooger Brugge, it makes me wonder... The things we play with as druggies, why are they so similar to the things we play with as children? What is the connection there?