Over on the CBC there is an editorial on Hipster Parenting. It starts out with a description of A book about "Hipster Parenting" and quickly degenerates to "Kids these Days":

People used to raise kids with a sort of quiet stoicism; the fact that humans have been reproducing for millions of years was enough to humble any new breeder. But in this era of unfettered narcissism, child rearing has become a spectacle. The tabloids stalk famous females in search of a “bump” to monopolize the news cycle; Tom Cruise buys his pregnant wife a $200,000 US ultrasound machine for home use; and Oprah exalts celebrity mothers as though having a child is as novel and courageous as space travel. And non-celebs? They bloviate in blogs.

It’s the age of full disclosure, but also the age of prolonged childhood. Due to societal changes — particularly greater permissiveness in the workplace — people are no longer obliged to grow up. They show up at the office in the sort of garb they wore in middle school: sneakers and a hoodie.

Oh Noes! Sneakers and hoodies? It's the end of civil society! This is all highly ironic as I post—bloviate one might say—in my blog whist wearing sneakers, and a hoodie, at work no less. But I digress.

It seems that the main point of the is that in order for one to be a good parent, you have to be a passive little consumer doting on the center of your life. No, not only is it important that you devote your life to your little one, but now you must conform to societies norms as well. "Feel Pollack’s righteous anger, the way he scoffs at old-guard parents and their squareness, their addiction to Raffi, their misguided altruism.". I have news for you Andre, you old-guard parents are square. Your misguided altruism is worth scoff and scorn.

I think that this is highly illustrative of a stark cultural, and perhaps generational divide between Andre and myself. Andre asks: "In 'Notes from a Drunk Aunt,' Lisa Gabriele writes about the freedom of not having to be someone’s role model. What moral are we, as parents, supposed to glean from that?" And to me, there are plenty of moral lessons, like: why do you expect every adult to be a perfect role model? Is it really appropriate to talk down to children? Does my liberalism end when it relates to my daughter, and why should this be so?

So what is this cultural difference between Andre and I? Well it strikes me that Andre comes from the "What to expect in the first years" school of parenting. The style of parenting that claims your child is a beautiful individual special little snowflake that needs your constant care, attention and doting, but only within certain well-defined parameters. Andre complains about this era of "unfettered narcissism", and yet the parenting style that removes our children from the gritty realities of daily life, that encourages them to think they are special, that they really are the primary focus to mommy and daddy causes the unfettered narcissism.

Now don't get me wrong. I love my daughter. Lots. Lots and lots and lots. I don't go to as many all night rave-techno parties any more. I don't spend hours down in my studio,I spend time making castles and running in circles instead. But that doesn't mean I am no longer a musician. The way to raise a well balanced human being is to be a well balanced human being, and being a well balanced human being means maintaining something similar to the lifestyle that I currently live. Are there compromises? Of course! But when a child realizes that they are the center of their parents life, they realize that they can wrap them right around their little finger. I'd rather raise a child who can become an important part of her community based on her own merits, skills and abilities. Harmony is a part of my life, not my whole life.

Andres article ends off with complains about the babble.com website based on what can only be a quick scan of the photos and headlines. If you actually read the articles, Madeline is not complaining about her second, instead, she is expressing a fear that a lot of parents have, and pointing out that average isn't bad. Erin Cressida Wilson is giving a frank look at wanting a girl, but getting a boy, which if you are a perfect "What to Expect..." parent, should never happen. Frankly, it looks as if Babble.com's articles are truthful windows into what it's like to be parents, rather then the bullshit white-picket-fence-and-soccer-mom (pseudo) reality that Andres would have us all "grow up" into.

I'd like to finish off with this quote from babble.com:

What we're hoping to create with Babble is a forum for all the experiences that make having and raising kids in the city so fraught. But we also hope to channel the spirit of all those non-neurotic strangers on the street who greet new parents with nothing but the purest delight.

Yea, sounds like a horrible site to me.

Shell has submitted to parent hacks awhile ago, and they finally ran one of her submissions. Probably one of her best by far.

Whute! Good job baby!

What is the cutest, best and most awesomest kids TV show of them all? If you know me, then you might expect me to say "Hello Kitty" and that would be the end of it.

Well, you'd be wrong. The cutest, best and most awesomest kids show is Pocoyo. Bar none. It is the kind of show that I can sit down with Harmony to watch. Harmony loves it, I love it, it's good.

First off, it is very cute in that heart-warming-make-you-smile way, versus the too-sugary-sweet-need-insulin way; it is not like Hello Kitty (the TV show) in it's cuteness. Second of all, the message of each show is really quite good. As an example, Barney the dinosaur has a very superficial message, like: cleaning is fun because I say (sing?) so, whereas Pocoyo will show you how to have fun cleaning up.

But the charm of this show is more then how the message is presented, it is also the quality of the message that is presented. While Barney is singing about brushing ones teeth, and Cailou is busy whining about how scary the next door neighbor is, Pocoyo is learning about how some things (like skipping rope) are hard, and how it takes time, practice, help and most importantly, the ability to ask for help. My favorite episode is called The Key to it All, and is worth watching whether you have kids or not. I've posted the YouTube in the extended body of the entry, so if you wanna watch it, click on the read more link below.

The final statement of that episode sums up why I enjoy this show so much: "This is the best treasure of all isn't it, after the fun we've had today: opening doors, asking questions, and exploring your world. That is the key to it all!"

I've been singing Harmony the ducky song lately... you know, the ducky song from Ze Frank:

Who likes the little duckies in the pond?
I do, I do, I do
A chick-a quack quack!

and Shell recorded it on video. I posted it to the Intros section on the gallery, and turned my daughter into a star. Of sorts.

Yay fun!

Harmony has picked up a new behaviour: frequently when I ask her to do something, and she doesn't, she will meow like a kitten, and get down on all fours, and play a little game of Harmony-is-a-kitty.

KAWAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! (as in, that is hella cute)

It makes me wonder, is it because "no" sounds like "meow", so she is reminded of kitties, so she goes and plays kitty?

Or is it that her 2 year old ego fractures itself, and she takes on the role of an animal because she is expressing her animalistic id instincts of her own mind, rather then of the super-ego of her dad; and by taking on the animal persona she does not have to cope with the rejection of what is right and proper?

(the second part was a joke...)

Jonnays Note: Shell posted a bunch of hints and tips to Parent Hacks, or a site that was linked there, and I thought I would cross post it here as well, cause they are that good.

I get an empty journal book for the child every year. I tape or glue memory stuff in there like pamphlets from the zoo, birthday cards, swim lessons certificates etc. I put the dates on them and the dates on important things that happened that year. The rest of the book is open for the child to fill. It is a keepsake and teaches the child to keep a journal or sketchbook which is an important skill at any age.

There is nothing like opening a present on Christmas Eve. A taster for the next morning. I get my kids Christmas pajamas that they can open on Christmas Eve so they are festive for the morning.

Instead of making bottles up ahead of time, I put the powder in a bottle, then when it is time for baby to have bottle, just add warm water. You don't have to keep the bottles in the fridge or cooler, and you don't have to heat it up.

I have a sure fire way of getting a child to sleep through the night at a very early age. Pick a simple short book (Sandra boynton is great) and make that the last thing before you put the child in bed and only at night, never for nap. Do this from a very early age, I started at 3 weeks. This book becomes the cue for bedtime. The child knows what to expect. We did this with my daughter since she was 3 weeks old till she was about 1 1/2. She has always been a great sleeper.

When my kids would fight or have a hard time learning something I would tell them the special bedtime stories. I would change their names just slightly and tell them a story about these kids. I would change the details slightly about the issue they were dealing with. They would get involved in the story and I would ask them questions about how the kids in the story should deal with the issue. They would come up with solutions looking at it from an outsider point of view, which is easier to do without having the emotional aspect to deal with as well. They were able to see both sides. Then I thought these were the last thoughts in their heads before they went to bed so maybe it would sink in. It really seemed to work.

Making bottles ahead of time can be a hassle. I found if I used the gravy maker from Tupperware it was much easier. It has markings on it for the water. Close it up and shake and put it in the fridge.

Instead of babyproofing everything, I leave stuff on the shelves and tables within reach that is adult only but safe and not breakable. When baby starts to play with the items at an early age I teach them no. I say no, that they aren't allowed to play with it and remove them from the temptation. It is almost enough to drive you crazy for a long time, but if you stick to it, they learn at a very early age. I can take my daughter anywhere and people don't have to start moving things as soon as the child walks into their house.

When the child shares I make a big deal out of it. Tell them how wonderful it is that they are sharing with plenty of clapping. They learn that sharing is not something to get upset about, but rather it is something fun that makes everyone happy.

I have a hard time bathing the child in the bathtub. I get a backache leaning over. When the baby is small enough, till they are about 1 or even more, I bath them in the kitchen sink.

When feeding baby I give the baby a spoon of their own so they learn how to use it early.

Don't hide the small arguements from the child. Do it without anger and let them see the resolution as well so that they can learn how do deal with negatives.

Remember that the child is not doing whatever it is that is making you angry "to you" or to be bad. Try to understand "why" they are doing it. For instance, if the child is throwing food on the floor they might be doing it cause it made a really neat sound. This doesn't mean that they are allowed to do it, but it will help with the way you deal with it without anger.

Say please and thank you, sorry and your welcome on a regular basis. You won't have to spend alot of time teaching your child this, they will pick it up from watching you.
I find that if they child has boundries they are much happier. They don't have the skills or the need to make decisions. However, flexibility is just as important. Sometimes, they need to feel that they have a say in what is going on.

This is part 2 of the Abridged Harmonese dictionary. Please also see Part I

The Abridged Harmonese Dictionary, part II

How dududat?

how-doo-doo-daht
"How are you" or " How are you doing?" Also "How dududoing"

Sampatch

sahm-pa-ch
A sandwich.

Stucken Dere

stuhk-ehn-dehr
Literally "Stuck in There". Used when something is stick, unmovable, or too high to reach. e.g. "I cannot reach the Cinderina on the top shelf, she is stucken dere"

Coffeffee

koh-fef-fee
A drink, usually coffee, juice or pop; but anything that is not water or milk.

Five Minutes!

f-iii-ve mi-nits!
An expression used when leaving the room to go away for awhile. It is always uttered as a single statement, i.e. "Five Minutes!", not " I'll be Back in Five Minutes"

Be Right Bak!

Bee riet bak
I'm leaving for awhile, and I actually have no intention of coming back, but instead will remain wherever I am going for an undisclosed period of time.

Birday Cake

bird-ay-caek
Cake, whether or not a birthday is involved.