Just so that we are all on the same page here, I've quit smoking a grand total of 3 times. The first time I quit for around 2-3 months, but I eventually broke down and smoked one cig, then two cigs, and eventually gave up quitting. The second time I quit. I mean really quit. 2 1/2 years or something similar. Now I am quitting for a 3rd time.

I am getting pretty good at quitting smoking. I just need to learn to stay quit, thats all. Here are a couple of interesting coping strategies that I have picked up over the years.

First the basics:

• Quit. Just quit. Don't try and ease yourself off cigs, don't try the patch, or gum, or any of that shit. You are addicted, physically, and quite likely psychologically to the nicotine. If you keep exposing yourself to it, then you aren't doing yourself any favours.
• Limit your exposure to the temptation. It is much easier to resist the temptation to smoke when there isn't anyone smoking right in front of you. after a month or two you should be at the point where the idea of a cigarette makes you sick, or just doesn't interest you.
• Remember that the benefits to quitting smoking happen an hour after you quit, and keep on happening up to 15 years after you quit.
• If you smoke due to an oral fixation, use other things to help deal with the oral aspect. Gum, pencils, etc.
• Your last cig should be the last cigarette of the night. That means you sleep through the first 6-12 hours of non-smoking.
• Allow yourself some over-indulgence of your other vices. Within reason of course. If you drink coffee, don't be afraid to drink a little more coffee then normal. Whatever helps take the edge off. Be careful about this; if you end up becoming a raging alcoholic because you quit smoking, you've slid backwards, not forwards.

It's all mental baby

Quitting smoking is all mental. I mean, sure your body craves nicotine for a little while, but the bodily cravings are tolerable. With this in mind, you can approach quitting smoking with the proper frame of mind that hopefully means less stress for you, your friends and your family. One thing to consider is that smoking is ritualized. Taking the cigarette out of the pack, lighting it, and smoking it all constitute an elaborate ritual. As human beings, we live and thrive on ritual and routine. Consider replacing the ritual of smoking with some other tiny ritual. Another thing about smoking is that it gives you a break when you normally wouldn't. Don't be afraid to give yourself little breaks to run off and hide from the code, the dishes, or even the child. Just because you quit the smoking, doesn't mean you quit the break.

One thing that helped for me has been to listen to entirely too much Alan Watts. In fact, I usually have 2 audio-player instances running, one doing Alan Watts, and the other doing some kinda combined play list of Downtempo and Atmospheric Drum 'n Bass. Good stuff.

The best help comes frim my wife, and my friends. If they weren't there to help support my non-smoking, then it wouldn't be nearly as easy. Hearing "I'm so proud of you" from your wife makes it so much easier to stay positive about not smoking.

Another idea to help you quit is meditation. It may not be your cup o tea, but believe it or not, it can help. My friend Jen suggested the Tibetan Tong Len (sending and taking) form of meditation:

Normally, we are not very concerned about others. Because of this, we have developed this very strong belief in the "I." From this arises all our emotional negativity. To eliminate all our emotional negativity and thoughts of "I," we have to learn how to train our mind which can be done by sending and taking meditation. Sending and Taking (Tib. tong len) meditation is meant to help us develop a pure attitude by diminishing our involvement with ourselves and increasing our thoughts of others. Sending and taking meditation will help us develop bodhicitta[sic], (fn 12) the aspiration to achieve Buddhahood for the sake of all beings. In this practise[sic] we exchange our happiness for the unhappiness and suffering of other beings. This meditation is also connected with breathing. When we exhale, we imagine that we send a very bright light which goes out to reach all beings. This white light represents all our happiness, everything that is good in our life. We also think that it contains the seeds of happiness, which are all our virtues. So this white light reaches all beings and as it reaches them, it brings them great happiness and joy. In return, when we inhale we imagine that we are taking in a very dark, black light which carries with it all the suffering, problems, difficulties and all the causes of those problems. We do this meditation just following the natural rhythm of breathing. We know we want happiness and with sending and taking practise[sic] we realize that others want this happiness also. So whatever we have, we offer it to them. Whatever unhappiness and suffering they do not want, we imagine taking it. So sending and taking meditation is an excellent tool to further the growth of bodhicitta, the motivation of enlightenment.

The biggest thing is to revel in your non-smoking. Don't wallow in it. If you can enjoy the fact that you aren't smoking, then how likely are you to begin? If you can even learn to enjoy the nic-fits, how can you even think about starting smoking? This is definitely one of those things that is deeply personal, and takes a lot of thought, time and introspection to do. I personally tie my nic-fitting into my submissive nature and it seems to work out okay for me. But there are other ways to look at it and deal with it, such as: competitively "Damn Big Tobacco! They won't get the best of me!", as a personal challenge "Quitting smoking is like climbing this mountain!", spiritually "Quitting smoking takes me closer to god." or whatever turns and/or floats your crank and/or boat.

Quitting smoking is one of those things that can turn your life around. Because it is such a big change it allows you the opportunity to change other aspects of your life in tandem. It becomes a springboard for other life changes. Quitting smoking is difficult, really difficult, and when you do it, it serves as proof that you can do other things that are more difficult, and take greater strength.

Starting up again isn't as big a downfall as one might think either. If you have one drag of a cigarette and stop there, then it isn't like the quitting was all for null. Hell, even if you smoke for 8 months—uhh... for example— and then quit, it still doesn't mean that the first, second, or fifth time you quit was for nothing. Especially if you can look at the reasons why you started up again, and try to get around those next time.

Good Luck.